Kevin Brophy

Is too modest and private an aim
when you could learn
How to build a home inside a poem
or How to talk a poem into introducing you to her family.
You might instead of merely reading a poem
wish to learn How to bake a poem
for months, then take it from its oven
without burning one finger on it.
How to resist a poem is a hardback volume
invaluable to lovers, soldiers and lachrymose critics.
How to misread a poem is a necessary read
for the salvation of your own poetry,
as is How to make a poem tell the truth
and How to be smarter than a poem.
For those who understand the social occasion of the spoken word,
How to take a poem out to lunch
can become an expensive pleasure and a puzzle for the lips.
The book and video, How to workout with a poem,
comes with Rilke's Panther Brand leotards
and promises eloquent beginnings to new relationships.
You will be relieved to find still in print,
How to put a poem back on the shelf,
And that How to get a refund from a faulty poem
requires a standard form unavailable anywhere.
How to replace the batteries in a poem
should not take more than a minute to understand.

Kevin Brophy's new collection of poetry, Mr Wittgenstein's Lion will be published in June 2007 by Five Islands Press. Kevin Brophy is an associate professor lecturing in creative writing in the School of Culture and Communication at the University of Melbourne.

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